New Book: CEREAL X-TREEM Fart Powered Flight, December 2020

This book is based on a story I invented 50 years ago and told to my first child when he was impatient with waiting in line, or on a long ride or digesting his lunch before he could go back and swim some more. I went on telling it to my next two children and their children. After a rejection from a publisher in the late 1980’s - “As funny as this is, we can’t publish a book about fartting” - and a flawed attempt at online publishing, it finally got properly published.

Kenny eats a new cereal for breakfast one morning and gets the surprise of his life when it makes him fart so hard that he flies! Things are exciting and fun until he meets a jealous witch. Kenny gets a bit more adventure than he needs…….

The book is available on the Etsy website. One can buy it in person at River House Books in Carmel and also at Bookshop Santa Cruz at its store and also on its website.

San Lucas Cemetery

In February 2015, my friend Leigh and I planned a trip to San Miguel. Enroute, I wanted to stop at the cemetery in San Lucas after Terry DeLapp told me how beautiful the view was, and then after checking out the cemetery, I wanted to drive the Cattleman Road to San Ardo. The cemetery was a private one and had some old graves - people who had died in 1860+. There were French, Swedish, English and possibly German graves - then Italian and the newest were mostly Latino. There was a varying degree of care - some abandoned, one looked like it was sinking. One area was filled with some wonderful flamboyant Latino graves with all sorts of commemorative stuff - Easter eggs surprised me, but maybe they shouldn’t have, carved bears, an oversized Oakland Raiders’ helmet. One Latino grave was very elaborate in a “garden” with a low fence. The Virgin de Guadaloupe was there and a glass case/vitrinewith objects like a miniature ‘cabinet of curiosities’. We were on a hill looking west all the way across the valley toward the Sta. Lucias with the river on the opposite side of the valley. The sun periodically picked through the clouds and intense green patches of land appeared across the valley. The cemetery was on a slight rise, but one thing I’ve noticed is that even a little elevation can change your view. It began to drizzle and after wandering through graves for about 40 minutes we headed off to San Ardo via Cattleman Rd. 

29 July 2013 Bradley - Getty Landing (San Ardo)

Mallards, brown ducks   ---------------, blue heron, white ‘heron’, Bald Eagle, hawk, turtle, pigs, deer, cattle (rust colored, Cindy knows)

So, before the trip, I checked the flow chart and the flow was pretty fast- 450 cu. inches./min. I then looked to see what was happening at Nacimiento and they were letting out a lot of water. Mentally I was thinking that 350 was what we did on the 3 trips below San Lucas and it was about 420 when we were at San Ardo the year before so we could handle it. We parked at Linda’s. Carrying the canoe down to the launching spot was pretty easy. Unnoticed by me previously, however, was a fence crossing the river in the shadow of the bridge. (Just as at San Ardo, the fence was built so that it was not readily visible from the road or bridge....intentionally?) Randy scouted out where to go in. There were a few little areas with sand just above the water. The river was moving very quickly with a lot of noise and gurgling and flushing around the fence posts and various sticks that were in its way. Unfortunately we did not choose a good place to launch. Before we could even get away from the shore (and actually this was good!) we were rapidly pushed into some overhanging willows along the side of the river and I made the mistake of grabbing them to slow the boat. Before I knew it, the canoe capsized. ( experience would have taught me not to grab anything...but I did not have that kind of canoeing experience!) I hung on and was standing in chest deep water that was moving quite powerfully.  Randy and I managed to right the canoe and wedge it somehow against the bank - I really can’t remember what happened because I was mostly focusing on not being swept downstream! - it was stronger than any surf I have fought against while bodysurfing, in fact it was near impossible to move against it - I watched as our roll of Marine rope, a paddle and Randy’s water bottle floated off - and I remember thinking how inopportune as he drank so much water and would need it. Somehow, with the help of the remaining oars and a tree root (that did not break when I grabbed it as others had done!) I got through the trough that was making the current so strong and stood nearer the shore and on higher ground, but still in the water. We were helped by the fact that Randy was not really all the way in the canoe and was close to the shore. I was sure that he was going to say “Screw it! We’re going home, this is too dangerous”. But he did not. We emptied the canoe and assessed the damage - my cameras were both in the pockets of my life vest (semi-water proof), but they were wet. My backpack was wet but not too bad and had been kept in the boat by one of Randy’s elaborate bungey cord arrangements. Luckily Randy did not bring his ‘life-supply-of-everything’ backpack, so there was not so much in the canoe. The one thing we completely lost was the large branch clipper - and we were lucky it hadn’t hit one of us. For a brief moment it seemed like Randy wanted to look for it but even though the water was clear I couldn’t comprehend getting back in - the current was too fast for a search. We replaced everything into the waterproof bag and moved the canoe to a better spot and launched successfully.

There was no need to paddle - the canoe was moving rapidly downstream - all we needed to do was to ‘steer’ it and that was tricky enough! The river was wide and didn’t seem that deep but it was really moving. There were even slight ‘rapids’ that made it exciting. We hadn’t gone far when we spotted the roll of Marine Rope wedged into some wood on a sandbar - we tried to turn and go back upstream to get it but absolutely couldn’t manage it - so that bore witness to the difference between paddling upstream at San Ardo the previous summer and doing it right here at this spot! I spotted the horses I had seen from the road on N*** B******’s ranch so I knew we were floating through that property. There was a different feeling along this stretch of the river - a feeling of openness - the growth was not as dense as downstream and you could see through it to fields and hills that were beyond the river. Along the shore were tall trees, oaks and bay laurels as well as some sycamores. There were also many more “beaches”, long ones that existed along the shore - on what I presume was N***’s ranch there was one that was at the end of a dirt road and picnic tables were set up with a Bar-B-Que. The water was pretty clear and you could see the bottom - all of a sudden I noticed our paddle caught against some plants - this time we were able to catch it. A bit later I saw a strange green thing bobbing along and Randy figured out that it was his bottle. It was a race to catch it before it floated into a pile of brush and wood and also to avoid getting swept into the pile ourselves! So far we had not really seen that much wild life except for ducks. The mallards flew away from us before we got close - but there were these pretty brown ducks who seemed completely unfazed by our presence.

I was pretty certain we would have to deal with another barbed wire fence - and sure enough there was one that went across the river. Luckily there were some sandbars mid-river, so we stopped on them and tried to decide how to avoid the fence. I felt the current was slower on the left side of the river and that the bank seem lower; Randy thought there was more room on the right. I was worried about our trajectory coming off the bar; we were aimed diagonally toward where we wanted to land on the right side, and the current was pretty strong. I was afraid of being pushed sideways into the fence as we tried to ‘cross’ the river. After about 10 mins. of discussion and R’s getting out of the boat to walk a ways up the sandbar to take a better look at the left side - he decided that the left side was better. It was pretty easy to land and it looked like people did this a lot - there was a path up from the river across to the fence - a saggy lower wire with a forked stick lying conveniently underneath it so it could be propped up and we could slide the boat under it all seemed to indicate that this spot had been used before. There was a deflated inner-tube on the ground (guess the "tubers" hit the fence!) and a rug hanging over the fence making it possible or at least feasible to climb over without getting stabbed or caught on the barbs. Once on the other side of the fence R took a leak and I walked a little way down the beach to sit on a fallen tree and use it as a toilet. Just as I was finishing and pulling my pants up, a Jeep screeches to a halt on the other side of the fence with an angry N*** B. at the wheel and a passenger who never got out of the Jeep but just watched. N*** was yelling at Randy (luckily he had not noticed me!) about trespassing. Actually, right as they pulled up he said “Yes! We gottem!” and then started on about trespassing. I told him I had sent letters to the owners of the properties as identified on the county maps that we would be coming down the river and requested that if they did not want us to pass through they should contact me - I gave them my phone number and address. No one had sent me a letter or made a call. I also told him I had been assured that it was not illegal to pass through on the river. He responded at that point by stating that we had gotten out of the river and crossed his property. (we passed through on his side of the fence for about 20 yds). He threatened to call the sheriff in San Ardo when I told him that we were traveling there and that was where we would get out. Trying very hard not to be ornery or argumentative, I just said that we’d like to move on which seemed to defuse his anger and he actually said “Thank you”. and I said “Thank you, and sorry”. We got into the boat and left. Randy was worried all the way back to Monterey that the sheriff would come and find us! (Actually, I think that when we were apprehended by N***, we were not on his property....which was probably helpful.)

Shortly after that, a large bald eagle flew out of the trees on the right and soared across the river. I have never seen one near here before - it was impressive! We also began seeing more animals and birds. A beautiful blue heron flew from the left, just ahead of us, the closest we have ever gotten to one of them other than the one on the tree in the middle of the river. (San Lucas - King City) Off in the distance near the shore on the right, I saw something bobbing along - as we got closer I could see it was the head of an animal - a narrow skull and pointy snout. As it began to emerge I thought it was a dog, then a coyote, then as it was 2/3 of the way out it looked like one of the Nutria on the Arno in Florence, Italy. No, it was a young wild pig! Its mother was waiting on the bank with some other little ones. As we progressed downstream, we saw more and more of them. A group was on an island and because we were worried about the mother being protective, we passed on the opposite side of the island. But as we came upon more of them, it became clear that they we more afraid than aggressive. It was sort of amazing how they maneuvered along the current until they were close enough to the bank to get out. Their legs are so short and their bodies so large it was surprising how quickly and agilely they could scamper out. We also came across some very healthy and beautiful cattle that had rust colored fur that was the same color as the ‘dock’ plants growing along the river - in fact from a distance I thought that the dock was some cattle lying in the grass. We saw a large hawk but not many small birds. As we neared San Ardo, there were cliffs on the left side of the river and we heard noises and looked over to see some deer running across the face of the cliff face - they looked like the Chinese painting I used to show in Art History - camouflaged in the background. Just as we got to where we ended the trip we saw a turtle sunning itself on a rock and for once it stayed in place and did not slip into the water.

There was a good spot to land near the large oak tree -the one that GR had mentioned and near where we had left the car - Randy worried about spotting it from the water. (things look very different from that angle), but we could see our car (and no sheriff!). We had to haul the canoe up  the incline from the river to the road for quite a ways, but found a good spot to hide it while we went back for the truck (in Bradley) Getting it up the hill and under the barbed wire was a lot of work! Safe ride home....no sheriff!

 

Because of the fact that both my cameras and film got wet when we capsized, I had a lot of regret that I was unable to take any photographs. My only ‘record’ of the trip is my memory. To top it off, The river moved so quickly it was difficult for me to absorb what I was seeing - some photos would have been a big help. Most of what I remember are impressions - of space, speed, airiness and how different that stretch of the river really is. (I had felt it would be just by looking at it from 101.) Other stretches of the river are bordered by thick low foliage - bamboo, willows, reeds and grasses - that form a wall punctuated intermittently by taller trees. Here there were willows, but not a wall - it was possible to see off into the distance on either side. There were no agricultural dykes, no wrecked cars serving as flood 'protection'. For part of the way the river is close to the RxR tracks which run along some interesting hills - this also was different. Of course, just north of San Lucas there is that hill with the vineyards on top of it, but these hills were wilder and undomesticated! The river was very wide at parts - as wide almost as it is at the mouth. Also there were a lot of sandy shoals and beaches - the kinds of places where I imagined I would stop and paint... of course not possible with R in the driver’s seat! My feeling when we were hauling the canoe out was - well I don’t need to do this again! But from this vantage point I’d consider it...as long as I didn’t have to deal with N***. Who by the way, never recognized that I was the person who had spoken to him the year before...even though Randy had tried to explain that I was an artist, etc. etc. which I was hoping wouldn’t prompt N***’s memory!